It is common to compare homeschooling with public schooling, but it is important to remember that they are two different approaches to education with their own strengths and weaknesses. Here are some tips for avoiding comparisons between the two:
Focus on your goals
Remember why you chose to homeschool and what your goals are for your child’s education. Keep your focus on your unique approach to education and your own objectives.
Take out a blank sheet of paper and write the reason you decided to educate your child at home. For some, it was a dissatisfaction with the quality of education they were receiving at school. Others have chosen to shield their child from the violence or bullying that seems impervious to accountability these days. Many children today are forced to accept lifestyles and morals that conflict with the values parents instill at home. These reasons carry a heavy emotional load, yet, over time, we might forget how strongly we felt about why we pulled our children or refused to send them to school in the first place. Maybe your reasons are of a less serious nature but at some point, you were convinced that it was the right decision to homeschool. Write that reason down.
The next thing we want to do is to write down the goals and benchmarks you hope and plan to achieve. These might vary, as you compensate for staggered abilities that might have your child excelling in math, while reading presents the greater challenge. Write all the goals. Academic goals, emotional development goals, and physical development goals.
Finally, write down your strengths. What do you bring to the table? If you are a modest and humble person, this request may seem contrary to your nature but remember that modesty swings both ways. Knowing what you can’t do and knowing what you CAN do, and if what you CAN do, benefits your child’s education in any way, write it down. It’s a strength.
Review your list once or twice a day. Make it your affirmation anchor. Your self-reflective mirror talk, if you will. You embarked on this amazing journey for good reasons. Review those reasons and keep your eyeballs glued to those goals at all costs!
Celebrate progress
Celebrate your child’s progress and achievements, regardless of how they compare to public school standards. Remember that your child is making progress at their own pace and in their own way.
A win is a win and when our children are winning, there is no greater feeling for both parent and child. Why bottle that up? You’ve set the pace and a series of attainable goals and your child is knocking them out of the park. By all means praise their efforts and if they’ve reached a particularly significant milestone, bust out some cake and invite a few friends over.
There is such a negative spin on things these days. Your child will experience their fair share of criticism and some of it is not so constructive. Remembering a few wins might be just enough to grow a thick enough skin to keep moving forward.
A note of caution. You want to avoid “overpraising” your child. This type of praise, well-intentioned as it may be, can actually have negative effects on a child’s self-esteem and motivation in the long run. They may become overly reliant on external validation rather than developing a sense of intrinsic motivation and self-worth. Instead, it’s important to provide specific and sincere praise that is appropriate to the child’s efforts and accomplishments. This helps them know exactly what to repeat in order to develop solid academic and social habits.
Embrace the benefits of homeschooling
Recognize the benefits of homeschooling, such as the ability to customize the curriculum to your child’s needs, providing individualized attention, and fostering a love of learning.
Rolls Royce, Porsche, McLaren, and Aston Martin. What do these cars have in common? Besides their exorbitant price tag, each car company offers tons of customizable features. Do you want a McLaren with pink leather seats and a diamond-studded steering wheel? They’ll do it. Can’t phone up the Ford Motor Company and ask for an oak-veneer dashboard on a Ford Fiesta.
What am I on about here? Your homeschool is a hand-built Rolls Royce. It’s precious. It’s yours, and unlike the traditional school system (Ford Fiesta), you can customize it any way you want! A VIP first-class education and you built it from the ground up. You’re the captain of this ship and your child is lucky to have you at the helm.
Focus for a moment on everything you have done to meet your child’s specific learning style. No matter how great or small the effort was. With that list in front of you, ask yourself; Can a secular teacher out-class your efforts? Even if the most well-intended, compassionate, and dedicated educator took a special interest in your child, there are still other children in the class. Keen interest in one only denies attention to another, and sooner or later, your child will need to take a back seat while another student gets all the attention. Your efforts, brought forth with the greatest intentions, can be applied 100% at all times because your child is the only student in the room! Another win for homeschool.
Avoid negative comparisons
Is public school all that bad? Someone once told me I had no right to criticize someone until I could list ten good things about them. By the time you make that list, the fight has gone out of you, and heck, you might have even gained a friend in the process. Wise advise! I advocate and fully endorse the beauty of homeschooling, yet I’ve taught in brick-and-mortar schools since 2002. I can tell you that there ARE good things about traditional education and they are worth considering. Since I can name over ten of them, I think I’ve also earned to right to criticize some of the pitfalls of public school. Pitfalls that make homeschooling a viable alternative.
With that said, comparing homeschooling with public school is a fruitless endeavor. Yes, one will provide something the other cannot (facilities for one) but each has its benefits. If you’ve pulled your child out of traditional school, then leave traditional school in the rearview mirror. Stick with your decision and give it everything you got. You have to believe that what you can do for your child at home far outweighs the benefits of public school.
Connect with other homeschooling families
It has never been easier to reach out and find like-minded individuals from any corner of the globe through social media. A blessing and course for some. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
Unfortunately, you will eventually find trollers, haters, and online “Karens” that thrive on conflict. If you have joined a Facebook group or Instagram page of like-minded homeschooling parents and you come across a person that is rude or confrontational in any way, please…. ignore them. I bring up the negative first because 90% of the time, there is a fabulous interchange of helpful information shared in many of these groups, but every once and a while you get one or two disgruntled types that slip past group administrators and really kill the mood with a rude or disparaging remark.
With that little disclaimer out of the way. I want to tell you that I have met some lovely families online and it has been an uplifting and encouraging experience to see the efforts they make in rocking that homeschool! Sharing their ‘wins’ and seeing them break through anxious moments and challenges is wonderful. It IS worth the effort to join these groups. When searching, be sure to include the city or state (province) where you reside. You would be surprised how many members might live right in your community.
Social media isn’t the only method of connecting with other homeschoolers. Many cities will sponsor or advertise groups, clubs, and community programs that draw in the kind of people you can connect with. Parents searching for these groups can check with local school boards and libraries. Even a simple Google search may bring up clubs or playgroups in your area.
Stay informed
In some places, the government keeps a close eye on homeschooling, and regulations are put in place to ensure that all caution isn’t thrown to the wind. Some may find it a little meddling and intrusive but worrying about things we can’t change, will rob you of time and joy. It is best that you stay informed and up to date about homeschooling laws and regulations in your state (province) to ensure that you are meeting all requirements. This can help you feel confident in your decision to homeschool knowing that at any given point, you can prove that you are on track and prepared for any standardized testing or equivalency exams in the future.
In Summary
Remember that homeschooling is a unique approach to education that, in many ways, is far superior to traditional public schools. In the end, the knowledge and skillsets learned may be exactly the same. You just took a different path to get there.
Comparisons are often made in an attempt to validate a course of action we haven’t fully committed to. Give that a little thought. Redirect your energy into focusing on your own goals, celebrating progress, and connecting with other homeschooling families. Public school will always be there and the format will stay the same for years to come BUT your home and your homeschooling is a unique, living, breathing entity unto itself. Your family dynamic and approach to education are special. Embrace it. Own it. Please don’t compare it to something like public school. They are not the same.
This article is an extension of one of the 10 Steps To Kickstart Your Homeschool. For an overview of the other 9 steps, please feel free to check out the following blog post below. I will expand on each step in the next few weeks. I thank you all for the overwhelming support I received for that very first post!
